DiForYou

Busy week that got off to a great start, I picked up the Monday mornings at Dragonfly and arranged for Bridget to clean for me so I could head down to Richmond to see mah gurls – stopped in at Ashby and caught Jillian working her magic at the buy counter – quickly assessing clothes that were brought in by prospective ‘sellers’, she was so cute picking up an item giving it a good look over and making a decision. It was fun getting to spy on her for a moment before she sensed I was there, put her work down and gave me a big big hug!

I mentioned I was hungry and she suggested Sugar and Twine, has a yummy vegan sandwich (which I got) and picked up a sammy for her as well. She said I could eat my lunch in their breakroom and then took a photo of me playing my word games LOL she sent it to the fam and said “Mommy is on her break”. Amelia was off getting a tattoo, so I went to her house after my lunch break to get started planning her ‘packing party’.

We had lots of boxes, packing paper, sharpies, tape now we just needed the helpers! Amelia picked up some beer and ordered pizza – the helpers arrived, Eryn and Liam, Chevi and Kat, Dylan, me and Amelia and we got lots done. Packed up boxes for Amelia to take to Dylan’s, packed up boxes to go into storage until Amelia finds her “home”, and things to donate to a Free Fridge/Pantry came with me. I hit the road at 5:09 in 102 degrees, made it home by 6:30 and Amelia said that after packing, pizza and beer – the party was dismissed since collectively we got so much done! YAY!

FINALLY the day has arrived, Tuesday May 19 when I get my hair cut and colored since before our vacation in April (last appointment was in MARCH!!!) I don’t know how I did it. My salt and pepper hair under the brown really didn’t look too bad but who doesn’t love a fresh ‘do?!?!?! I love it, we are letting some of my gray stay lightly covered/colored and my dark stay dark. I love the space, too. Right next to the Rappahannock River – I saw some cool birds flying up high, definitely not bald eagles but they were something cool.

Wednesday early shift that ended with a panicked call from the person coming in next, her car broke down STOPPED on a busy road and was dead in the water. Had a little scramble to get her shift covered (we did it of course), met Shane to get Mike’s guitars (and Les’ bass????) back to the studio to finish up some tasks, dropped off the canned food and bag of onions from Amelia’s. I hit the Free Fridge at the right moment, elementary school bus stop and about 5 moms waiting who were thrilled to pick through the box, as soon as I walked up one mom said “oooh can I have those onions??” hell yeah you can, I threw in a garlic too! Then off to my dad’s. He was freshly showered, drinking a big glass of cranberry pomegranate juice and ready for our date; barber shop and Vinny’s (happy landings). Instead of putting on his playlist, I kept on the one I’d been listening to all week after Amelia put it on at the packing party; No Doubt Radio! When we got in the car Garbage (one of my tippy top faves) was on and my dad said “crank it up!” haha so I did! Great cooperation at the barber shop had us in and out, he loved his hot towel on his neck – oh he loved that it was 90+ degrees out (he said it every time we went outside) and at Vinny’s we split an eggplant parm and had our ginger ales. The place was HOPPIN’ with only two servers working they did such a great job. My dad kept asking me “did we forget to leave a tip” and I assured him, “we tip well!” Back to his house to chill in the AC while Shirley did some work outside, it was the best, peaceful day.

Came home to chill, had a sisters call at 5:30 and then delicious dinner and TV shows with Mikey.

THURSDAY!! THURS-YAY! Worked at element as per usual, picked up Jersey Mikes, blogged, games, and GODDDAMIN IT I-Y shouldn’t have told Mike the secrets to the word game we’re playing – he heard me scream from our room as soon as it came across my screen. 72 points – SEVENTY TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to get up out of my comfy chair to give him his props, that is some great game playing right there! We’re still playing the same game today, he is going to beat me but it is fun to play even if I lose!!!!!!!!!

FRIDAY!! FRI-YAY!! Got up to go with Mike to an appointment, went to Dragonfly to see if I could get into the 9:30 class (I did!) ssssssssoooooooooooo good, thank you Melissa O! Had a 10:30 appointment at element soooooooooooooooooooo good, did a cold shower, 5 min sauna, shower, 1 min cold plunge (60) 10 min rest. 15 min sauna, shower, 2 min cold plunge (60) with my arms in (not my hands) got changed into comfy clothes and rested/read in the Quiet Lounge for 20 minutes and then came out and sat with Mike in the Community Lounge for a minute. Ran a Giant/Petsmart errand on the way home and now here I sit. In my favorite chair, in my favorite room with my two loyal pets. I’m all caught up (except for my April – Vietnam post) but I’ll get to it.

My view from where I sit, like I often say to Uli, “it doesn’t get much better than this” and I believe it with my whole heart. Be a good person, be peaceful, don’t say weird things. Bye for now.

Got to be a part of Twin Thursday, the girls arrived and came to see me at element! They made great time, found a nice parking spot and stretched their legs walking to Sammy T’s for lunch! They got back just in time for me to close up and head home! If you know me you know how much my family means to me; not just my nuclear “fierce” family who are EVERYTHING in my life but my extended family of my sisters, sisters (and brothers) in law and all their kids – my adored nieces and nephews. I am so flattered that they would want to spend time with me, especially without their moms LOL. In November my oldest nephew and his girlfriend took the train down and we had a blast! Next up, his twin sisters took the drive and then next month my youngest nephew and his best friend are planning to come. I really, honestly, do love having my family here. We love to talk, loaf on the couch, listen to music, and laugh. I’m going to try my best to pick 2 photos from each day, my nieces have been muses of my photography since the moment they were born (well I didn’t get to see them at the moment but I was there as soon as they came home and stayed with my sister to help, it was crazy) You know what, I’m not going to limit myself – there are many photos that I know I will love to look back on and read about those moments.

Denise’s girls are just like mine, and my sisters and my pets too – they like to follow me around the house.

Shenny Friday! We ended the previous night having made our loose plans for Friday; get up and have coffee (me), leave the house by 8 and have breakfast at Frost Cafe in Culpepper. CHECK CHECK CHECK

We sat at the breakfast counter at Frost and had (in order of our photo above) oatmeal with sides of brown sugar, cinnamon and blueberries (BIG bowl, we all had some of it… sooooo good) and one fried egg. A bacon, egg and cheese on a BISCUIT (omg YUM yes we all had a piece of biscuit) and a fried egg and cheese on rye (I didn’t even bother offering a taste of mine) which was delicious. Coffee, waters, and watching the cooks work the grill. I think Lexi said she hadn’t sat at the counter like that before, I like it – I like watching people do things haha. I especially love the hair salon so I can watch hair being cut, colored, blow dried, styled. It’s so relaxing.

Next thing I knew, we were turning into Shenandoah National Park! I bought our annual pass and headed for Big Meadows for a rest stop break! After browsing the gift shop we drove to Dark Hollow Falls and the lot was almost full – good thing we got a spot and geared up. Our plan, go down Dark Hollow Falls (Moderate!)1.8mi 587ft elevation gain and pick up the Rose River trail (Moderate!) 4.1mi 902ft elevation gain and then walk the fire road back to Dark Hollow Falls going up to the car. Whoooooooo-eeeeeeeee we had an amazing hike – according to Brooke’s fitness tracker we did 5 miles in 3 hours. My ring told me I had gotten into Zone 4 which I am not sure I’ve been in that Zone haha (I’m checking now) I asked the Oura Advisor (chatbot) and it only said “You’ve been consistently spending very little time in High Activity” (bold is theirs) yes I did know that.

Got back to the car and ate all of our snacks, a trail mix I made that was perfect, some cotton candy grapes, banana, and chips left over from Jersey Mike’s night (healthy Doritos) back to Big Meadows for a bathroom and water refill break before we headed back through Skyline Drive. Stopped at some overlooks and took cute pics.

It was sunny and windy, the weather was absolutely perfect. My internal timer to get us back in Spotsy by dinner time allowed for us to take a couple of breaks in Sperryville on the way. I always want to stop, when I go with Mike, when I’ve gone with Denise, but we’re always so focused on getting home by the time we are done hiking. Somehow, the longest hike I’ve done in the park yet and I was energized to stop at Beechspring Farm Gift Shop, it always looks so cute and it did not disappoint. We checked out the stuff and each got a drink made by the farm (Peach Cider, Cherry Cider and a Black Cherry Soda – we all tasted each other’s and decided the best was the Peach Cider! Never would have thought I’d vote that way as Cherry is always my favorite.)

Got a text from Mike that said “don’t come home empty handed” LOL we all cracked up at that, decided we’d get Habit Burger for dinner and pulled into the downtown of Sperryville so we could visit Haley Fine Art Gallery and any other shops that happened to be open. This gallery curates the COOLEST works, it is in an historic building and has lovely ground and the owner is very cool. I’ve written about this place before, everyone in my circle loves it and now so do my nieces! Went to the ceramic shop next door, the jewelry store was closed and then back in the car to enjoy our drinks and the last leg of our drive.

Saturday morning and I’m off to work, the girls are signed up for hot Yoga Basics, Bridget is coming to clean for me so we can start the rest of our Saturday a little early. They loved their class with Hannah S, I didn’t realize they hadn’t taken a yoga class in person before so that was cool and badass of them to start with a hot yoga class! We then went over to the Farmer’s Market to look at all the booths – got some flavored marshmallows, kettle corn (some Old Bay Kettle Corn for SD for Mother’s Day LOL), looked at the jewelry and art, then off to our (Mike, Me, Debra and Colin’s) favorite coffee shop – Agora before heading to my dad’s.

The weather could not have been more beautiful, when we arrived my dad and SD were already sitting out by the pool (it was opened on 5/6, needed galllllloooons of fresh water, and for the saline to work it’s magic so we didn’t swim). Had some lunch of Cesar salad, hummus and pita – lots of chit chat getting caught up on life and once it got too hot, I took my dad inside and the girls walked down to the river.

Big, fun, hugs goodbye – my dad takes direction very well and I think he has a little fun with us. I love him and these girls so much.

Had pizza for dinner, sat outside on the deck til it was dark and watched hummingbirds come to the feeder, fight for their spot, chirp and twitter – so cute. Listened to the birds out in the woods and once it got dark, everything went quiet. All the birdies went to bed and so did we.

Sunday and the girls are going home, but not before some Aunt Dianne oatmeal breakfast, a walk in the battlefield, Contrast Therapy at Element (Lexi went underwater in the 60 degree tank!!!!) and a quick visit to an old school beach vacation bestie, HLB!!

We really had the most perfect weekend, I could do this all summer long. Talk about ‘today is going to be my peaceful day’ this is how you do it. Eating right, moving your body naturally, listening to music you love, talking about life, loving your family and friends, doing things that make you feel good – right? This is what life is all about. I’m so lucky that Mike loves my family the way he does, they sure like to spend time with us. Love your people… Bye for now.

I think about my blog when I’m living my life, almost like I’m excited to document what is going on – the good and the bad. Thankfully, good stuff lately even if it is due to circumstances beyond my (or someone else I care about)’s control. All week I was so excited because my twin nieces were coming down from Long Island to stay for a long weekend. First time for Lexi to do the drive and it is a huge deal that she did it. Coming to stay at our house is becoming a rite, calling it the Smith Wellness Retreat or Aunt Dianne’s Wellness Retreat haha, we do love hosting guests to our cute little part of Virginia. We have downtown Fredericksburg to visit with hot yoga and contrast therapy, we have the Shenandoah National Park with lots of hikes, wildlife and fresh air, we have Opa’s out in King George on the Potomac River for pool time and hummus and pita (or air fried baguette!) and then just chillin in the woods at our house, out on the deck or in the treehouse, walking the neighboring battlefield parks and if you arrive on a Thursday you get to participate in Jersey Mike’s night (which is tonight as I write this YAHOOOOOIE)

At work on Tuesday night I ‘shadowed’ our new front desk associate, she had it down so I clocked out and took the Yang/Yin hot yoga class and it was absolutely wonderful. Got my 5:30am shift for Wednesday covered so I could sleep in 30 minutes and get up to open at Element and sub that day, so no trip out to my dad’s on Wednesday.

Woke up and checked Jillie’s location because she and JB were going to Chicago and I was curious if they’d taken off yet! They had the best trip. Took Uli for a quick walk. I had to think fast for my Tuesday night dinner since I’m always home for dinner unless it is my monthly Vinny’s dinner with friends (which I did have to bow out of for May because I was working/taking yoga) Mike had leftover brown rice in a bowl and we saved one vegan Italian sausage in sauce so I combined the two and had a very healthy dinner, that I probably shouldn’t have eaten BEFORE a hot yoga class but I survived with a little bit of gas pain LOL!

No photos from Wednesday – I do have one of Iris on my bed that I took when I got out of the shower, she was sitting there like she was waiting for me to get back in and rest with her. These pets love when I lounge in bed in the morning. Doesn’t happen too often but when it does we all love it. It’s peaceful, like my monks. Bye for now. Be nice.

I’m back, me! I’ve been thinking about my blog a lot, I missed writing every-ish day. My plan is to do a blog post for April that will be mainly our trip to Vietnam, returning home to a vibrant Spring and Mike’s quick turn around to head out for a short tour of the northeast and Canada. I just need to decide if I want to do a Flickr album of the trip and write something for each photo and then link it here or use the blog for that. I’ll figure it out, it’s what I do!

Why start my May blog with a loaf of homemade sourdough made by Allie? Because I missed it so much while I was on vacation, part of the reason I was stressed about going on our trip was because of my diverticular disease, I’m sure I mentioned it last month LOL but adjusting my diet 5 years ago based on doctors orders to go HIGH FIBER for the rest of my life really has kept me healthy. I love to eat the same things every day and my sourdough, avocado, everything bagel seasoning and hemp heart seeds with a side of sauerkraut has been my staple for at least a year if not longer. I couldn’t wait for Allie’s text to tell me the bread had been delivered to hot! It is always gorgeous, it is always delicious and I appreciate that I have a friend who bakes as a service! My gut held up while in Vietnam but was very happy to have it’s comfort foods once we were home.

Uli and Iris were happy to have us back, ready for lounging, playing, and spanking (Iris) LOL

While we were gone, right at the start of our trip we got the news that Amelia’s boyfriend broke up with her and moved out of the little house they were renting. We were rightly shocked, saddened, concerned… long story short – SHE IS JUST FINE! I’ll leave it at that, I think she is realizing that she feels lighter and more herself this month, but man April was a doozy for her. All that being said, Uli and I headed to Richmond on May 3rd for a sleepover, mommy/daughter(s) visit, tribe check-in, move out organizing and a little brewery break. We got out into the sun to see Caroline at Art in the Park – an enormous art event that had every kind of artist imaginable. We walked around, checked out the art, Amelia got some stained glass earrings and pottery. Uli was great, sniffing people as they walked by, laying around when we stopped to look at things or talk to people, he tucked himself into the shade under our table at Triple and made himself at home on Amelia’s couch as she inventoried some party supplies that she was posting to a Free Stuff group on Facebook. We made great progress getting some things packed up to store at her friend’s house. I took her cute patio chairs to my house for safekeeping, we ate well, we laughed, we cried a little but it was the beginning of her next chapter and I left her on Monday to pick Mike up at the airport with a good feeling in my heart.

May has been pretty crazy schedule wise at work, we had some people leave for full time work, some left for other reasons, but two people reached out looking for a job and both were perfect and their availability fit into our schedule needs! In the meantime, I’ve been doing a lot of subbing which is good for my savings but not for my restorative time LOL. I like being busy and am thankful for my EV Leafy, I don’t have to use a lot of gas to get back and forth to town.

Tuesday was a busy workday, I did the 5:30am shift at hot, came home and chilled then back to town to work the 4:30 shift at the main studio. I’ve been letting Spotify do my Daylists to listen to and am hearing tons of great tunes. I love this song Hypersonice Super-Asterid – it is crazy psych, synth, female vocals, space jam coolness. Plus I like the name, I did a big deep dive into this collective. Artists are cool.

On a drizzly Wednesday I worked in the morning, came home for a bit to hang with Uli and then out to my dads. Bobbi had texted the day before saying they were out at their boat if I wanted to take a drive out with my dad. When I got there I asked if he wanted to go see Dan and Bobbi’s boat and he said “sure!” Shirley mentioned that he had a little scare on the stairs and when I asked him what happened he said “I don’t have problems with stairs, stairs have a problem with ME!” LOL. Into the Pathfinder we went “This is a really nice car, it is warm and cozy” put on the Spotify Jammin’ with DRWD playlist

We had to walk pretty far from the parking lot out to Mai Tai, I was giving my dad directions in both English and German and he did a great job – he was nervous but he trusted that we wouldn’t let him walk straight off the dock and into the cold water. Dan said he was joking around with him while I was in the boat visiting with Bobbi (she was working) and looking around their BEAUTIFUL SAILBOAT. I hung out with my dad and Shirley and then back to work to do an hour and a half at the main studio.

Visited Gracie this week to make sure she knows how loved she is and how thankful we are that she took such good care of George right until the very end. Best girl, we snuggled, I gave her some breakfast and we had a little chat. She’s an apartment girl now with Catie.

Busy Saturday working at the studio, lovely Sunday enjoying the birds, Uli, my coffee, my peace. Grateful for two daughters that I’m so proud to be the mom of. Did virtual yoga with my sisters who are two of the best moms I know! Went to Ni River Reservoir for a mothers day kayak and then had a delicious plant based dinner that Mike made – vegan Italian sausage with red sauce and provolone cheese!!! Excuse the chipped plate haha.

Monday was my first day doing the 5:30am shift AND the 8:30am shift – but then I was done for the day at 11:30 and came home to my beloved sourdough, avocado lunch and hummingbirds. I’ve been wandering the yard in the morning, checking out all of my plants that are growing – peonies, sunflowers, dill, strawberries, obedient plant, sensitive fern, hellebores, Chelone, all the weeds that I’m letting flower for the bees… I saw a big patch of Mayapple across the creek in our woods – turtles eat the fruit and poop the seeds out, I hope they come poop in my woods so that I get some Mayapple, too. Be nice to nature, peace out, bye for now.

Doublin up!

3/30: Morning snuggles with Iris, once the suitcases come out she gets extra snuggly!

Virtual visit for our trip went well, then to my hair appointment to get my roots topped off for the trip, too! Worked a sub from 3:45-9:30 – big long shift like my saturdays and it went by so fast, so much to do!!

3/31: Down to Richmond to go to REI and then see the girls. Lunch with Amelia at Union Market and a big hug, went by Subrosa to give Bryan a big hug (he, Chris and Jillie are in LA with Marissa now) and then to Ashby to see Jillian and give her a big hug and buy a few things. I won’t be blogging while I’m on my trip, it’ll be too much. I’ll be taking pictures and keeping notes. Happy April! Today is my peaceful day, and month. I am excited to see some beautiful temples. BYE FOR NOW! Be nice, be peaceful.

Saturday and Sunday – my peaceful days – seeming like our trip is going to HAPPEN!?!?! I have not even been looking at the map we created, or videos of the places we are going because I don’t want to be disappointed – I’m getting excited, today I felt excited. Lots to pull together and do but I’ll put a lil checklist together and start checking things off! Tonight (sunday) I’m just gonna chill. I’ll get up early Monday, have a virtual visit with the Dr office, get my hair colored and bang trim, then I can tackle whatever goes on my list. I’ll get the packets of wildflower seeds!

3/28: No Kings Rally! Yes, I went to work first and had a fab day! Then over to Bobbi’s for a yummy lunch and sign making sesh for the rally. We chatted, ate and colored and then off to walk up William Street to the intersection with Rt. 3. Perfect weather and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMAAAAAAAAANNNNYYYYYYYY PPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEOOOOOPPPPPPLLLLLLEEEEE!!!

One side of my sign said “honk if you’re not in the epstein files” lol so when people didn’t support us (we got a few middle fingers, one double thumbs down, and some people just driving face forward hands at 10 and 2) I’d say to myself “guess you’re in the files” or “you aren’t rich enough to be in the files” I cannot comprehend how anyone voted for him and still supports him after everything new that they’ve learned about him. ANYWAY, MAJORITY of cars beeped their horns, long and loud, toot toot toots, we saw some cars that were making the rounds and beeped some more. We saw way more waves, thumbs up, smiling faces, and signs than negativity. I wore my RESIST flag like a cape all day. Got home, ate dinner, watched shows and went to bed. Gotta get up early to work a sub shift!

3/29: Up and at ’em, what a busy morning! Aaron and I worked well as a team, we had a lot of guests – we were filled to 10 people in the space at one point I think, and everything went great. After work I ran over to Wren and Sparrow to get birdfood for Karen to keep the feeders full while we are gone. Listened to my book, I think it is almost over I don’t want it to be over noooooooo, came home and did a little work, wrote a reference for my sissy, now I’m writing this! I won’t be doing my daily journaling here while we’re on vacation because I won’t have my laptop and I’ll do a big post about the trip. Be peaceful, resist, be nice and bye for now.

3/25: Doubling up because Thursday was another long but productive day – I was still feeling a bit out of sorts, maybe it was because Anne was travelling and wasn’t coming in behind me as she normally does on Thurs but my new lady that I mentioned I went to coffee with a couple of Tuesdays ago – note to self, remember when you are back from vacation to make a date to meet up with her again. Leaving the spa I remembered to call my mom instead of starting my book IMMEDIATELY I could listen to Christina Applegate narrate anything, her stories are just so interesting too. I love a story. I can remember being in elementary school and my favorite thing was going to the library and listening to Miss Koslow read us stories. I didn’t know until much later in life that my mom was asked to let me be in a gifted kind of program in elementary school, but she didn’t want me to do it because she didn’t want me to be separated and different from the other kids, or something like that. It was because when I entered kindergarten, without having been read to (I say it this way because Mike and I read a gazillion books to our girls before they were 5) or having gone to pre-school or anything like that, no camps, no dance or music classes – I just watched Sesame Street and The Electric Company and my first reading test in kindergarten unveiled that I was already reading at a 3rd grade level. LOL Anyway, each year I was in my own reading group of 1, okay like that isn’t making me appear different to my classmates haha, but I would also go to the younger grades and help kids with their letters or reading and I’d get to read stories, like Miss Koslow. <heart eyes emoji>

Talked to my mom, picked up Jersey Mikes and then listened to a little more of my book. BS with our trip was making my nervous system wonky, I kept checking the element app to see if my new gal made it in and I was using the indicator that the 4:00 guest was checked in. By 4:10 I was in a full panic spiral because the green check wasn’t there, thinking that she didn’t realize I was talking about TODAY when I said we needed someone for 3/25 from 2:45-8 (like am I crazy to think someone misunderstood something that specific??? UGH) I texted her, waited, then called her, I texted Jesse and then called Jesse for one ring because she texted back “I’m here with one guest in the space” to which I said “Oh thank you for letting me know and don’t forget to check him in” then Jesse called me back and I told him how panicked I’d gotten and he (as is his way) calmed me down and told me he doesn’t want me to panic but appreciates that I care that much. Gosh, so lucky to have a friend like Jesse, he and Anne are the best business owners. Thinking that would ease my unease, I started to read the news and it was just too much for me, I gave up. No photos from Thursday, I didn’t even review the bird buddy videos which usually make me laugh, I was too jittery. Gummy and Jersey Mikes helped. I did have a super sugary dessert which was good when I ate it but I think it effected my system haha my legs were super cramping while we watched TV, I got some Dead Sea magnesium spray and sprayed it on my legs and the bottoms of my feet. I drank some more water than normal for night time. Went to bed and it was worse, I got up and drank a glass of water and took a magnesium tablet. Drifted off to sleep…

3/26: woke up dizzy. I don’t remember the last time I felt like this. Opened my eyes and the room was spinning, like it used to when I was little. It would happen to me before I’d fall asleep, I can remember the room spinning so bad that I managed to get up, go into the living room and tell my dad “Daddy, I’m trying to fall asleep but when I open my eyes the room is spinning and tilting” and he said “Just close your eyes and go to sleep that’s what I do” OMG obviously that’s what I was trying to do, too!! LOL.I shared a room with Denise and she was like my dad and could fall asleep fast so my pleas to her were going unanswered, I can see it in my mind looking over toward her bed and seeing the line where the ceiling met the wall tilting side to side and willing it to stop and stay straight. Clearly this little gal was suffering from anxiety! This morning I opened my eyes and saw that same tilting, got up to the bathroom and really was like ‘woah’. When Iris opened the door and shortly thereafter Uli bounded in, I called to Mike “can you bring me a water, too” (with my coffee that he very lovingly brings to me every morning) all he had to ask is “what’s wrong” and I went into it all, stress of lots of things. I texted my sister and she gave me the best advice “do your breathing, focus on your breath, give yourself a hug, move gently, you got this” she always says that I’m her rock, but she is my rock too. Each of my sisters in their own way are the person I can turn to.
I think it was all a combo of the cramping (not enough water, too much sugar in that dessert, standing on my feet all day in flat flip flops or barefoot on concrete floors) the way I had been feeling about people making other people feel guilty, and the anxious thoughts surrounding our trip that has been totally out of control – I was even stressing that I needed to buy wildflower seed so I could get it put down before we go so that it can grow in April, even that felt overwhelming. But talking with Mike, getting outside this morning to fill the birdfeeders at 7:30, redoing our tourist visas because our depart date is now April 2nd, lining up standby subs for my shifts that I’ll be missing and then taking my coffee outside to the front yard to capture with the Merlin app, all of the bird songs – this morning I heard 17 different birds in a span of 5 minutes. The app is so cool, you record and as a bird sings it shows up in the list. By the time I took a shower and was heading out to my dads at 9, I felt nearly 100% perfectly fine.

Shirley had a hair appointment so I got to my dad’s early, but we didn’t have overlap so he was by himself for 10 minutes – I got there and he was sitting in his spot, coffee on the table and a bowl of apples finished by his side. I sat down and said “once the guys are done cutting the grass I’ll take you to the barber and then we can get lunch” and he said “whatever you wanna do” lol. Put on his playlist in the car and had a little jam sesh first song was Boston – More Than A Feeling, got to the barber and Fridays are walkins so we had to wait behind 5 others so we waited in the car and kept listening to music. Our turn, got him in the seat after a few tries and he held his hat and glasses as she worked her magic. I had to snap a photo of this expression of his, making sure she doesn’t cut off his ear! LOL. When she put the warm washcloth on his neck and head I heard him say quietly “oh that feels so nice” and she smiled and said “I know you like this part”

After his ‘spa day’ and back in the car I asked him “do you want to split an eggplant parm sub for lunch before we head home” and he said “sounds good to me” so we went to Vinny’s (Happy Landings) haha I think I mentioned that in an earlier blog. I keep calling it Vinny’s Happy Endings haha I directed him in and since he has trouble sitting down at a table or booth I had to problem solve a little, he tried to sit on the table which Shirley has told me he’s done before but I just gently moved the table and was able to get him onto the bench and slid his legs to the under the table position and then I moved the table. As I was doing all this, a middle agedish woman in the booth behind him was smiling at me and of course smiley me, I was smiling back. I heard her server ask if she needed anything else and she very cheerfully said to him “no, just the check” a few minutes later as I was turned towards the windows the woman was at our table and bawling, saying something and moving the napkins on our table – I jumped up and hugged her as I heard her say “I want to pay for your lunch I miss my dad so much” she had put $30 cash on the table and I said “oh my gosh you don’t have to do that and she said “I want to, I miss my dad” I gave her a big hug and said thank you and she whisked out the door.

I watched her in the parking lot and my dad said “what happened” and when I told him, we both got teary and he said “that makes me sad too” and we talked about how we miss people that we don’t see anymore but that we know they are somewhere, just not with us. I say that because sometimes he says his parents are alive and he isn’t sure where they are. I’ve stopped mentioning that they died, it serves no purpose. I said to him “we are together now, and you’ll always have me” Our lunch was delicious, you’d have thought my dad hadn’t ever tasted anything as good as a ginger ale HAHA he kept taking a sip, go to put it down and then pick it up again and sip some more saying “this is really good” he ate all of his half a sandwich without getting sauce on his pants (my bad prediction, I did put a napkin in his lap but it was clean white when we were done but his face and hands were another story) and most of his fries. When I paid with the $30 from the woman at the table behind us I asked her server if he’d seen her before and he said he had not. I said “we were just meant to be here at the same time I guess” that is what Jillian said when I texted them “She was meant to see you guys”. The human connection, it is always there if your heart is open to it. Chatting with strangers on trains, volunteering with people you don’t know, getting out into the world and experiencing what other people think and feel – it’s nothing to be scared of. I know I’ve documented it here so I won’t forget it, but the feel of that strangers tears on my cheek from my hugging her will ensure that I won’t forget the connection. Be peaceful and cool, bye for now.

I like to wake up happy, and I usually do. I’ll ask Mike “what’s new” since he’s usually up for a couple of hours before me, has read the news, made coffee, walked Uli… likely put dishes in the dishwasher etc… He told me about an interaction between two people and I was immediately in a bad mood (I did shake it off) I just will never understand how someone can feel good about making another person feel guilty about something they did or didn’t do. When I was in my early 30s, I went to therapy by myself because I was having a hard time in my life – I had two little girls who I loved more than anything but I felt like I was doing things because I was ‘supposed to’ not because I wanted to or that I thought it was the best thing to do. The therapist told me to take “should and shouldn’t, “always” and “never” out of my vocabulary and if someone tried to push a ‘should’ on me, I didn’t have to accept it. “You should be visiting more often” “You should be working more hours” “You shouldn’t be feeding the girls a vegetarian diet” the list went on and on. I also went to therapy again because I was still grieving the loss of my brother in law and father in law, two people who were very open with their love for me, their family, their lives and I couldn’t believe my greatest in the world little girls would not have an Uncle Chris to love on them or a Grandpa that would have spoiled them rotten with love. I could not stand that they weren’t ever going to enjoy these fabulous children in our family. It was too much and I decided that I needed the tools to not GAF what other people expected of me, I was going to live my life with love and stand up for myself and my family and my daughters – I wouldn’t make people feel guilty for the ways they talked to me or treated me – I would just stop talking to them and stop being around them. All these years later and I am very comfortable with the decisions I’ve made in my life, I have no regrets and I don’t make people feel guilty for anything they did or said to me in the past (or in the present) I’ve done my absolute best to never have my daughters or husband feel anything but love from me. So hearing that someone tried to make someone else feel guilty just (trigger warning) triggered me LOLOLOL. Eh… I went to work and went to my dads and the feelings dissipated – every day should be my peaceful day regardless of what people do and say to others. The Christina A book also puts things into perspective, it is one of the most powerful autobiographies I’ve read in a while, she is amazing. Interesting what childhood trauma can do to an adults body and mind. Worked the 5:30am shift at hot and went to main to check the phone message book. Then off to King George.

My dad looked and felt great when I arrived – HOLA DIANNE, sitting with him in his nonsense with our coffees made me calm down and I felt my mood lighten. Shirley went out to run some errands and then walk with her neighbor so I did lunchtime with my dad, a personal pizza and a big glass of water on his birthday table as we listened to his music. We talked and sang, just what I needed. I’d picked up an evening shift at element so I left my dads, picked up an impossible whopper and drove to the city dock and ate my whopper and listened to my book. Night shift was great, lots of familiar faces, felt productive. Went home to my guys, had a couple of peanut butter cups, watched a show and went to bed. Be peaceful, don’t give guilt trips, just be a good person and if you want to talk to someone and tell them how you are, just call them. Bye for now.

Mike checked the Qatar Airlines app this morning and our flight on the 7th was gone, cancelled – no notification, when trying to ‘rebook’ in the app, nothing was happening. The live chat was not up and said because of the volume of requests – we’d need to call. We tried a couple of numbers and none of them were going through. That was a bummer, I was planning to go to Walgreens and get the rest of my vaccines… but since he’d been following the Reddit thread he knew that we could call other countries to see if they answer and could rebook us. We figured out how to call India and the call went through – we were able to rebook the same itinerary but leaving two days sooner on the 5th. We took it, Mike had been regretting not having a couple of days on either end of the trip to account for travel and give us 10 days of vacation. Off I went to get my Typhoid and pneumonia vaccines! We’ll see what happens. I am fighting being depressed about the state of the world and the state of the US. I can’t remember if I mentioned that we voted on Monday, too. I’m going to be joining my friends on Saturday after work for a No Kings protest. I’ll make a sign, I’ll wear my RESIST flag, peace begins with me but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be pissed off that not everyone is peaceful or thinks about how their actions impact other people. I’m not even talking about politics, just people who are jerks in general, who don’t care that their words hurt people, that their actions ruin other peoples lives. That parents can ruin children’s lives, by bringing shitty people into their kids lives. I am listening to Christina Applegate’s autobiography when I’m driving – she is the one reading it, too. Love her.

I did tackle my office, it needs to be in some kind of shape before we leave for our trip so that our house/pet sitter can work up there and not be in the middle of my mess. I love a deadline as you can tell by my previous blog posts. I have just a little more to do, I found a frame that I wanted to repurpose and I found an old 8×12 print from my poppy series that was interesting so I cut it up and framed one of the flowers and put a Caroline Q Murphy card from one of her shows next to it. I love the way it looks. Maybe I should just print all my poppies and frame them in interesting ways. Is it just me or are those color blobs in the back so cool? That’s almost what I love more than the in focus flowers. I know Jillie regrets painting her room white, (from a raspberry pink) but the more artwork and photos I find that I want to put up, the happier I am that there is a white background for the colors to jump off of.

Was a little too chilly to work outside (in my opinion) I did get some of the leaves from last week off of the driveway and added bird feed to the bird buddy. I need to fill all the feeders up this week. I do need to get some wildflower seed and put that down in the yard in the two places I’d like to fill in. I want to help the pollinators to have wildflower access. Be peaceful, bye for now.

Oh what a fantastic Monday! Due to my vaccines my body temperature was raised during the night and my ring gave me the ominous “MAJOR SIGNS THAT YOUR BODY IS STRAINING” which it was – I was able to tag my night with “Vaccines”. Still got a fantastic night’s sleep and woke up feeling great, I did also take tylenol. Tax documents are all in (I think) and the accountant has been notified. Kathy scheduled to come clean, a yoga class and contrast session with Mike on the schedule and a walk with Uli in the future. We dropped off the Leaf at Little Tire since the driver side rear tire was losing air and needing refills (yes it had a nail in it) went to yoga and took a scrumptious class with Alana (saw lots of friendly faces!) then down to element for some contrast (another friendly face!) since I’d just done an hour of hot yoga, I went right into a cold shower, then 5 minutes sauna, cold shower, 1 minute 60 degree plunge, 5 minutes rest, then 15 minutes sauna, cold shower, 2 minutes cold plunge, 10 minute sauna, cold shower, changed into comfy close and then 15 minutes rest in the quiet lounge on the new warming chairs!!! My day wasn’t as restorative as Sunday but it was perfectly restorative to me – walking with Mike and Uli, even though at that point the wind had picked up and it was a bit chilly, was a nice break – to be outside and listening to the wind through the pines. Lots of birds at bird buddy, I’ll share this very bright and young looking American Goldfinch!

Peace out peaceful people (me and Mike) who read this blog! Be nice and be peaceful. Bye for now.